Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Amma

We were a happy family, an extremely happy family.
September 2004, my father passes away. January 2007, I lose my baby in the sixth month of pregnancy. June 2007, my mother meets with a road accident and passes away. I don't even have the energy to ask "Why us?" Whenever I feel the anger well up in me I try to think of the Holocaust victims or of some other situation more tragic than ours.

44 Comments:

Blogger 30in2005 said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your losses. I hope time does turn out to be a healer and that in time you find the strength to remember wonderful things about your parents. Hugs.

7:29 PM  
Blogger dame's diary said...

akka,
Sometimes the good deeds of our dear ones shine in our lives and make us feel their presence. May the loving memories comfort you and help you overcome the pain.
With prayers,
Dame

11:07 AM  
Blogger Just like that said...

My dear, I am SO very sorry, and I know nothing I say will take the pain away. A BIG comforting, sharing hug to you

2:16 PM  
Blogger Nee said...

Hey Akka,
Oh gosh - as inadequate as it sounds, I am SO sorry...

*Hugs*
Nee

11:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hallo supri, ich muss dir an dieser stelle auch nochmal sagen wie leid mir das tut! in meinen gedanken bin ich bei dir und umarme dich!!!!
steffi

12:57 AM  
Blogger Collection Of Stars said...

Hey Akka, I am so very sorry for your recent losses :(. Just today, I was feeling so bad that we have so much sorrow in my family but seeing your post has made me take a step back. I know it is very difficult but I hope god gives you the strength to over come this grief.

2:37 PM  
Blogger itchingtowrite said...

i am so sorry for you.. May God give you strength

3:22 PM  
Blogger Poppins said...

Hi, Thanks for dropping by my blog.. Sad that we had preeclapmsia in common though...I'm so so so so sorry that you lost your baby at 26 weeks. And your dad and mom too.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better, anything at all..

Please know that you are in my thoughts today.

1:52 PM  
Blogger noon said...

Hi Inquisitive Akka,
I am so increadibly sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you are coping with everything. My god when my father passed away on Jan 23 07 I was so overcome with grief - it was so sudden and unexpected - I just could not believe he was gone and was not going to see my first son who he loved so much and my second child who was due to arrive in June. That itself was bad enough. I just cannot imagine what you are going through. OUr mother is our only strength now in the absence of our father - it must be so difficult to accept the loss of your mother and you child at the same time. Really why us must be the predominant question in your mind. Really sometimes life is so unfair. But somehow we all find the strength to cope and a little while from now you will get pregnant again and will have a healthy baby and when all is well somehow the world will seem bright again - until then just have to grit and bear - it is not easy. But please don't lose hope - you will come out of all this stronger. Take care. Feel so bad for you. Lots of love and hugs.

10:37 PM  
Anonymous WA said...

Akka take care, don't know what else to say. I had a miscarriage after about 10 weeks, to lose the baby in the 6 month, I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. Take care

1:12 AM  
Blogger the wannabe indian punkster said...

I am terribly sorry to hear of your losses. Since whatever I say in this comment-space may probably be horribly inadequate, I'll just give you a hug instead.

*hug*

1:14 AM  
Anonymous Purni Siddarth said...

My heart truly goes out to you and Dinesh. Life has been very cruel to you. I pray that time gives you the strength to move on. Mrs. Praveena is one of my favorite teachers and she will live in all our hearts, forever. take care.

Purni Siddarth
(PSBB KKN batch 1998)

3:15 AM  
Blogger The Visitor said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:24 PM  
Blogger The Visitor said...

Dear Akka - you were very much missed. But we never knew what you were going through. May God give you and your family strength in your time of sorrow.

8:28 PM  
Blogger KiwiLax said...

Akka: That explains your long absence. Words can never be any consolation, but still, as someone who is sailing in a similar boat (two bereavements in May with too many issues to cope with before and after that), I can empathise with you completely. Time is the only healer. And may God give you the strength to get thorugh till then.

1:23 AM  
Blogger karmickids said...

What can I say, except be brave...life tests only those who can bear the pain...May God give you the strength you need...

10:52 AM  
Blogger Ardra said...

had been wondering abt your absence.
take care
love and prayers...

11:02 AM  
Blogger Gounder Brownie said...

I was deeply shocked when I heard the news, so were all my friends from school. PD taught us in class IX and I still remember her classes and how she used to teach...especially the lesson on animal adaptation...I've never been inclined much to the Sciences, but she was one teacher who would make you sit up and listen, no matter how uninterested you were. She was one of the best teachers I've ever had and she will never be forgotten by any PSBBian who was lucky enough to have been taught by her.

12:10 PM  
Blogger Hip Grandma said...

Sorry about all that happened to you.I was actually wondering if you had given up blogging.The qn raised by you is natural.'Why us?' There is no real answer.I had written a piece 'Falling Leaves'sometime back.Go through it and you'll find that you are not alone.May God give you the strength needed to face the future.I am glad to see you opening up.

5:23 PM  
Blogger Jawaman said...

I heard from Nilakantan about this. I am sorry for your loss. But I appreciate the attitude with which you are facing life.

10:21 PM  
Blogger Collection Of Stars said...

Hi! Just wanted to check on you. How are you doing now?

4:42 PM  
Blogger Mosilager said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's not fair that some people have more than their share of sorrow.

11:01 PM  
Blogger Gauri said...

Hi Akka

I know this sounds woefully inadequate but .... I am so very sorry !!
May God give you strength to tide you over.

Hugs

Gauri

7:06 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I dont know u but as I read those lines, tears well in my eyes. There is dawn after every night, pls hold on, this night shall pass away and tomorrow will be another new day, hugs n prayers...

10:58 AM  
Blogger B o o said...

I know words cant take away your pain. But all our positive thoughts will definitely guide you through these tough times. Take care. Wishing you well.

10:44 PM  
Blogger hari said...

Akka,
I really do not have words to console you. "Sorry" seems too hypocritical for the amount of grief you are carrying.

I have always read and try to train myself that a lot of events in our life would seem unjustified but it is all mysterious ways of God and we should not question them. With all the training that I have given to my mind, unjustification heaped on you definitely seems a grave error even on the part of God.

Be brave, we are always there for you and pray for you.

3:57 PM  
Blogger The Inquisitive Akka said...

I want to thank you all for the concern and affection that you have shown me. I am going to try and be a regular blogger from now on

3:07 PM  
Blogger As I like it said...

I am speechless. But your writing sure made me come out of my amma's visa-rejected-4thtime well. Life is a wheel of joy & sorrow, sometimes never seem to spin when it is on the sorrow side, I guess!
May you have the strength to get through this.

1:32 AM  
Blogger Tharini said...

Dear Akka...For a while after that WTC post I wondered what had happened to you....and I followed your comment on my blog today and read thispost and the most recent one...I really am at a loss for words...how inordinately strong you are.......oh my god! Pl. pl know that we cannot take away your pain....but we can dull the ache. Keep writing. Keep sharing. We are here to listen to your words....and to keep egging you on.

Life, in all aspects, seems horribly unfair.....but our narrowed perspective of it shows us only that much. There's so much more going on behind the scenes....I pray intensely that He always remains by your side....and reminds you of His presence.

God Bless You.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Tharini said...

Hi again....I couldn't stop thinkingabout you after my last comment. I used to read your brother's blog too before, and when I did that today, I came across that beautiful tribute for your mother. Reading all those beautiful words, by many of her students....I feel a sense of regret that I never knew her. Strange as it may sound, she really came alive in their words and I know a lot more personally now, how acute her passing away is. My father is a teacher too, and is regarded in the same way by his students...and I have a very high respect for anyone in the teaching profession because of him. And both your father and mother were teachers, from my understanding.

The point of all this...just want to let you know that you are in my thoughts, even after I have penned these words in comment and gone away from your site. God bless you and Dinesh. I am so glad that you have each other to get through all this. Its such a precious thing, to have grown up with the same set of parents.

Pl. forgive me if I have caused you any pain, by writing all of this.

6:01 PM  
Blogger Sush said...

Hugs... Glad to see you back.. I know whatever I say will not lessen the pain you are going through but I am sure it helps to know that my heart goes out for you. You are really brave and just be so.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Deepa said...

Dear Inquisitive Akka,

Last November my father passed away after a prolonged stay in the hospital post a paralytic attack leaving us with mind boggling problems to be sorted out. In January of this year my mom had a near fatal accident but survived with barely her spirit intact. I have often wondered if I was meant to learn anything from this and if so what? so far have drawn a blank. My wishes are with you and hope you heal by and by.

Deepa

1:33 AM  
Blogger Janefield said...

i'm so sorry for your losses, dear akka. have visited this space off and on and was disappointed to not see a post in a while. now we know why, you have been dealing with a lot. best wishes to you.

1:05 AM  
Blogger SS said...

I am so sorry for all your loss . I lost my first child during the course of my pregnancy and I still feel that pain. May God be with you. Hugs.

9:26 AM  
Anonymous desigirl said...

hello,
you had commented on my post about Grand sweets. I am really sorry about your mum, I came here to say. I find now your cup of sorrow is over flowing. All I can say is sorry for your losses - a useless word and gesture cos it must bring u no comfort. But hang in there - you wud come out the other end soon.

3:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i hated to walk down my school until i saw a person who had no legs. i never asked from them why me

7:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

is then not them

7:57 AM  
Blogger SMM said...

I don't know you, but all I can say is Keep the strength. I lost my brother too in a road accident and it was very hard to even come to terms with it. For you it is a 100 times more. This too shall pass. May God give you and your family all the strength to deal with the losses

5:35 PM  
Blogger Lucky said...

I am the first time visitor. I know the trouble you are going through .It's very tough and noone can really console you. But Belive in GOD more and more. Donot ever give up. Sometimes we have live with "It is what is it is " . No other option. In the stories they say "Idhuvum kadandhu pogum" [ this stage will also be passed "] Remember that. You'll have a wonderful life. Your MOM and DAD will bless u from the sky and your little angel will shine like a star.My sincere preyers to you. Remember that I am thinking about you now...

10:59 PM  
Blogger AMIT said...

Good post from you.Nice shared.

Lingerie Alley

12:24 PM  
Blogger workhard said...

Im so sorry to hear of your loss.. Be strong



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9:44 PM  
Blogger Ava Avery said...

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3:58 PM  
Blogger Ava Avery said...

I love those bullion stitched baby singlets but haven't done them for ages. You know, I think I have the exact pattern pages you have worked from, as the diagrams match your work. They are very cute and I'm sure they will be loved Customised baby wear

3:58 PM  
Blogger Ava Avery said...

I love those bullion stitched baby singlets but haven't done them for ages. You know, I think I have the exact pattern pages you have worked from, as the diagrams match your work. They are very cute and I'm sure they will be loved Customised baby wear

3:59 PM  

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